The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
As shirtless as possible
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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