so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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