i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
