I accidentally had phone sex last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
