He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
