So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
worst night to have a conscience
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
