I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
