so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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