Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
pray to the hookup gods
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
