no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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