on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
