my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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