This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if only i could text you this smell
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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