i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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