I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were destined to go to rehab together
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize