My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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