so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
