Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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