This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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