Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
