Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
