some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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