In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
