I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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