Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
