who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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