sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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