i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
