How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
