Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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