did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
