I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
