I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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