Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We got so high we made milksteak
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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