She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
