Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We left the knife in your bed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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