My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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