just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
