I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This is the high leading the old right now
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize