spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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