I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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