New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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