oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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