I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize