take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
