Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
