she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
