It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We left the knife in your bed.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
