I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Boobs are out for the taking
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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