a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
