Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she peed on how many people?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
