and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
