you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
