I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
