Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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