I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
