Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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