We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
